Still, I managed to become a fan of Wendy Harmer anyway, even though I didn't listen to her radio show. I liked what columns I read that she'd written, some of her stand-up appealed to me, and I loved her appearances on World Series Debate. Later, I became aware of her advocacy work for people with disabilities and carers, and found that admirable.
Now? After what has shown up in the news over the last two days? Not so much.
In fact, I'd go so far as to say I'm absolutely fucking furious with Wendy Fucking Harmer.
For those who haven't been paying attention to the Australian news, yet another professional sportsman has been accused of sexual assault. Brett Stewart, a rugby league player for the Manly Sea Eagles, was accused of sexually assaulting a 17 year old girl. The resulting media has been exactly what was expected by those of us jaded and angry from watching this same story play out time and again over the years by various sportsmen: victim blaming, insistence on Stewart's innocence by all sorts of people united only by the impossibility that they have any idea of his guilt or innocence, some calls for the team to stand down him down, and rabid support from sports fans defending their idol when the team inevitably refused to do so.
There's even been a classic example of Channel Nine being absolute fuckwits by airing a feature "exposing" the fact that the alleged victim's father has a criminal background, as though that is in anyway relevant, and the expected response from NSW Rape Crisis denouncing that particular "exclusive" which, while well intentioned, is of course ignored by those who lap up such televised crap.
Stewart's response, incidentally? According to the Daily Telegraph, that he was too drunk to remember whether or not he committed the assault. Yeah. That's his defence. He was charged, and finally suspended by the team, but of course continues to go about his business and train as though that didn't happen.
So. The reader may be asking at this point: What the fuck does all this have to do with Wendy Harmer?
Brett Stewart plays for the Manly Sea Eagles ("Manly", incidentally, is a place not an adjective) a team in the NRL. The Sea Eagles have a woman's supporter group, called the Eagles Angels, co-founded by Wendy Harmer and Sarah Murdoch.
The Eagles Angels have spoken out in support of Stewart, including Harmer offering to give him a character reference.
To quote Harmer from the article:
"He is involved with diabetic organisations and mentors young kids, and he gets around to schools and works with youth and he gives very freely of his time," Harmer said.
"On a personal basis, we have found him very respectful, well-mannered and a humble person.
"All of the Angels I have spoken to would be pleased to give him that character reference."
Seems Brett Stewart is a really nice guy! And it's not like really nice guys who are respectful and well-mannered EVER commit rape or sexual assault, right?
Right?
Oh. Wait.
Brett Stewart might be the most lovely fellow any of you have had the fortune of encountering. He may well engage in many charitable actions, and provide services to the community. He might even convey the impression that being treated like a fucking demi-god because he's a professional athlete and sport is the closest thing Australia has to a national religion hasn't gone to his head and given him a twisted sense of his own importance and entitlement. Hell, he might even be the rare professional athlete for whom that's actually the case.
None of this in any way indicates that he is innocent of this or any other sexual assault. Get it? Nice guys can be rapists. Men you know and like can be rapists. Lovely, supportive, charitable mentors can be rapists. Professional athletes can be rapists, and it horrifies me that that seems to the bit that many of my fellow Australians are incapable of comprehending.
It should go without saying, but I'll say it anyway: Brett Stewart's actions disgust me, and the 17-year-old girl in question has my support, my sympathy, and my genuine wish that our society wasn't fucked up enough to victimise her all over again by putting her through this shit. I can only imagine how awful it must be to have prominent Australian women, themselves champions of charitable organisations and role models to millions of girls, speak out in support of the guy who sexually assaulted you.
I find it hard to believe that Wendy Harmer is completely unaware of just how few rape and sexual assault charges stick in the Australian legal system, or how stacked against the mostly female accusers it is. I'm especially horrified as she claims to represent at some level people with disabilities, as women with disabilities are victims of rape and sexual assault at a distressingly heightened rate compared to the general Australian population.
I'm disgusted and enraged. All I can think is that I'm glad the nice, upstanding, respected, football-playing individual who sexually assaulted me all those years ago wasn't a few years older and playing for an NRL team. I might have had to listen to a woman I admired speaking in his defence.
The bodies of women and girls are worth more than a fucking football game.
Posts
31 comments:
Brilliantly written, I agree 100%. You said what I was trying to say about a billion times more eloquently and I applaud you for it though remain deeply furious anything had to be said at all.
The whole situation is a sick, nauseating joke.
Aha! THERE'S your blog. Adding you to teh blogroll :)
Thanks. I'm just... furious.
God. Out of useful things to say. Sorry.
I hate everyone.
It gets a bit like that, doesn't it Cheshire?
UGH. The persistence of this idea that good in one area precludes bad in any other area frustrates me. Does anyone really, honestly, think the world is that cut and dried, so straightforward with no greys?
This post is great.
Thank you.
And, honestly, some of the commentary by Stewartt supporters I've read firmly implies that they DON'T think the world is so cut and dried to suggest he would never have committed the crime... they think the world is so cut and dried that the girl in question (and the witnesses) simply must be lying.
I couldn't agree more. Don't any of these people have daughters, sisters or mothers. Why is kicking a piece of stuffed leather around a field more important than a girls life. A magistrate was questioning the drinking bashing mentality on the Northern Beaches the other week (headline news Manly Daily). No wonder it exists when the kids role models are drunken thugs. Of course he'll get off because of lack of evidence or some such rubbish. The cops are probably Manly Supporters too. Why is it none of these allegations EVER stick against football stars. What a great example they are to our sons. Not!!
Oh god, this is a minefield....
I haven't heard anything about this case. What evidence is there that he commited the crime?
I've always maintained that absolutely anyone is capable of absolutely anything. We're just another animal after all.
The flawed logic that says this guy can't be a rapist because he does charity work is like saying Hitler couldn't have been so bad because he was vegitarian - utterly illogical and offensive to his victims.
It disgusts me that they always go after the victim first and that geniune rape victims are made to feel like they were to blame somehow.
However...
These kind of accusations are directed at premiership footballers over here all the time and more often that not the girl has been a 'model' or aspiring 'actress' or made these accusations in the past about other men that proved to be false.
If he's guilty, I say 'off with his balls' but if he's not, then it makes it harder for women who ARE sexually assaulted to make the police believe them.
Gaina: From the news reports, it appears there were multiple witnesses to the assault.
Gaina: From the news reports, it appears there were multiple witnesses to the assault.
Then it's 'off with his balls', yes? ;-).
I am speechless with rage. Excellent post, Hexy, and thank you for pointing out this: "I'm especially horrified as she claims to represent at some level people with disabilities, as women with disabilities are victims of rape and sexual assault at a distressingly heightened rate compared to the general Australian population."
Harmer is no longer an ally in my world.
Mine either, and I'm disappointed about it.
Speaking for myself as an individual, and NOT on behalf of the Eagles Angels...
I would like to make it very clear that at the time the character reference for Brett Stewart was given to a journalist (who rang me at my home), he had NOT been charged with sexual assault. I was unaware there were any such charges pending against him. He was not charged until some days later.
I also made it very clear to the journalist concerned that my comments pertained to his prior behaviour (I also made it clear that I had been unable to contact all 16 Angels for approval) and the character reference was in respect for his work with Diabetes Australia (NSW) which has described his demeanour as "exemplary".
I assumed this is one of the reasons he was chosen by the NRL to be the face of their 2009 season.
The inference that I - or indeed any of the Eagles Angels - would condone violence against women is utterly abhorrent. The further accusation that the Angels are dupes of the Manly Club, the NRL, or indeed the code of Rugby League and are therefore incapable of independent thought and reasoning, is equally demeaning.
Since our comment was offered, Mr Stewart has been subsequently charged by police and the matter is before the courts.
Out of respect for the fairness of his trial as the alleged perpetrator, and equally, in respect of justice for the alleged victim, further comment is inappropriate.
No matter how much some commentators would like to fire further debate with unsubstantiated hearsay and opinion - there are legal requirements that must be upheld and adhered to.
This is the rule of law in our legal system.
The comments in no way can be construed to undermine the legal case of the victim, who has my complete support in the pursuit of a fair hearing for her allegations, as heard and now pursued by the police.
The fact is that the Eagles Angels supporters group was formed in 2002 partly in response to off-field dramas within the NRL. One of our major initiatives was to institute an 'alcohol-free' hill at the Brookvale Oval to make the venue safe for women and families. This has proved to be a great success. The Eagles Angels have dedicated many hours to working for charities - especially those for women - and will continue to do so.
The Eagles Angels group includes female athletes who are Olympians, Commonwealth medal holders and multiple world-record holders. As an ardent admirer of their achievements - on and beyond the sporting field - I deplore the manner in which they have been depicted as defenders of the sexual abuse of women.
For myself, as the a mother of a daughter, I do NOT condone the ongoing violence against women that is evident at all layers of Australian society- regardless of class, creed or indeed sporting code.
I feel personally aggrieved and most disappointed to think anyone would suggest otherwise.
Yours sincerely,
Wendy Harmer
Speaking for myself as an individual, and NOT on behalf of the Eagles Angels...
I would like to make it very clear that at the time the character reference for Brett Stewart was given to a journalist (who rang me at my home), he had NOT been charged with sexual assault. I was unaware there were any such charges pending against him. He was not charged until some days later.
I also made it very clear to the journalist concerned that my comments pertained to his prior behaviour (I also made it clear that I had been unable to contact all 16 Angels for approval) and the character reference was in respect for his work with Diabetes Australia (NSW) which has described his demeanour as "exemplary".
I assumed this is one of the reasons he was chosen by the NRL to be the face of their 2009 season.
The inference that I - or indeed any of the Eagles Angels - would condone violence against women is utterly abhorrent. The further accusation that the Angels are dupes of the Manly Club, the NRL, or indeed the code of Rugby League and are therefore incapable of independent thought and reasoning, is equally demeaning.
Since our comment was offered, Mr Stewart has been subsequently charged by police and the matter is before the courts.
Out of respect for the fairness of his trial as the alleged perpetrator, and equally, in respect of justice for the alleged victim, further comment is inappropriate.
No matter how much some commentators would like to fire further debate with unsubstantiated hearsay and opinion - there are legal requirements that must be upheld and adhered to.
This is the rule of law in our legal system.
The comments in no way can be construed to undermine the legal case of the victim, who has my complete support in the pursuit of a fair hearing for her allegations, as heard and now pursued by the police.
The fact is that the Eagles Angels supporters group was formed in 2002 partly in response to off-field dramas within the NRL. One of our major initiatives was to institute an 'alcohol-free' hill at the Brookvale Oval to make the venue safe for women and families. This has proved to be a great success. The Eagles Angels have dedicated many hours to working for charities - especially those for women - and will continue to do so.
The Eagles Angels group includes female athletes who are Olympians, Commonwealth medal holders and multiple world-record holders. As an ardent admirer of their achievements - on and beyond the sporting field - I deplore the manner in which they have been depicted as defenders of the sexual abuse of women.
For myself, as the a mother of a daughter, I do NOT condone the ongoing violence against women that is evident at all layers of Australian society- regardless of class, creed or indeed sporting code.
I feel personally aggrieved and most disappointed to think anyone would suggest otherwise.
Yours sincerely,
Wendy Harmer
Wendy,
Kindly don't put blame back onto us. I find it difficult, very difficult, to believe you are not accustomed to engaging with the media and know the way things can become misrepresented.
Taking hexy's words as a personal affront only indicates that you are detached from the implications of YOUR words. This detachment means you are unaware how they reinforce existing stereotypes - "nice guys don't rape" - but it doesn't excuse what you said or means you shouldn't self-examine, reflect and be more careful the next time.
Otherwise, don't put yourself in a position of authority on women's issues.
Additionally, addressing the consumption of alcohol by players DOES NOT address the imbedded psychology of rape culture. THAT is the real culprit here. To blame it on alcohol alone abhorrently ignores the way rape culture has evolved and is normalised in our society. These men don't attack women because they are drunk. They attack women because they don't see women as human and/or they have been socialised to believe some women ask for it, or they can get away with it. Alcohol just makes them less concerned about the consequences. The 'no alcohol' approach is a bandaid fix that does not even begin to remotely address the issue.
The overemphasis on charity work continues to boggle my mind. Yes, it's admirable but it's actually not a good indication of someone's true motivations or nature, particularly when they're encouraged to do so by agents concerned about PR.
Wendy, I honestly cannot believe you are this naive. To say I'm disappointed is an understatement.
If you feel personally aggrieved, then you should ask yourself why rather than dismissing Hexy's words and her own experience as a rape survivor. If you want to speak out on these issues and be prominent voice, be prepared to be held accountable for them.
Regards,
sticky
How DARE you create a user name for me that reads 'Friendsof the dog'!! How absolutely DARE you!! This is an outrageous defamation and abuse of my good faith in posting on this website. My name is Wendy Harmer and I am proud post under my own name.If this is an example of the respect and ettiquette afforded to people who enter this site- then consider this my last post. Have a conversation with yourself and good luck to you!
Wendy Harmer
Wendy: I did not create that username. I have no idea how you ended up with it, as by the time your comment arrived in my inbox it was already credited to "Friendsofthedog". Have you commented on other blogs discussing this situation with the same email address?
I have taken your comment in good faith, and appreciated you leaving it. I approved your comment as it appeared here, then left it while I mused on my response over the weekend.
Wendy: According to google, that username and the blogger profile it's attached to has existed since August 08, and also appears here.
Wendy: Understand you are on a blog controlled by a passionate, woman-loving feminist who would NEVER, EVER apply a derogatory name to you, least of all make your user name appear as that.
Believe me, I know Hexy and that is NOT her style.
My understanding of blogspot is that only the user of the account can change the way their name appears. Are you using a friend, family member or partner's account to post? If so, they may have set the name as this a long, long time ago. It is actually impossible for Hexy to make your username appear this way. Please familiarise yourself with the account you're using before flinging wild accusations.
"And it's not like really nice guys who are respectful and well-mannered EVER commit rape or sexual assault, right?"
Speaking in purely general terms now, I've also noticed that sex offenders never ever manoeuvre themselves into positions where they have access to and authority over children and young women, nopenope.
I cannot believe how ignorant most of you are on this blog posting site.
Our legal system clearly advocated innocents until proven otherwise.
If Brett Stewart did in actual fact do it, then he will be punished accordingly.
Although the initial poster was quite eloquent, it is in my opinion that she is otherwise a complete idiot with an IQ comparable to a child.
It is not uncommon in most first world countries that people come forward screaming rape after a consensual situation. Just look at Matt Johns case as we speak.
As for the witnesses, well lets see how far their statements will get them in this case especially now that all of them did not eye witness the actual event rather saw them walking off together which in my opinion does not constitute rape.
Yes she (the alleged victim) is crying rape of which Brett has denied it.
As if he, out of all people in our side of the world would need to rape a girl to get sex. Come on now, look at it from a perspective of reality rather than some persons way to exploit money out of a young man making plenty of money.
Truth will be told and the original poster will be shamed for her eloquent however pathetic attempt of playing the judge.
Wake up to yourself and indeed learn the reality of being held to ransom.
This may or may not be the case here but indeed when the truth is told, all Australia's opinion will be heard and considered.
As for you (the original poster), a bad experience is a terrible thing to deal with but hey, you should be a tad smarter than that and be a little more diplomatic with your views.
Anthony.
Wow, Anthony. Fucking bingo!
Our legal system clearly advocated innocents until proven otherwise.It sure does. And no one here is advocating against that fact.
Outside a court of law, however, people are allowed to express their views as they please.
If Brett Stewart did in actual fact do it, then he will be punished accordingly.I can't decide whether to laugh, or to envy you for being in such a position that you have faith in our legal system to convict every guilty party every time when it comes to sexual assault. You might want to read this post.
Rape and sexual assault have a deplorable conviction rate in this country... hell, in most countries. It's certainly not because of all the fakey fake fakers pretending they've been raped when they haven't.
It is not uncommon in most first world countries that people come forward screaming rape after a consensual situation. Prove it. Because I've got stats showing that the false reporting rate, even according to "official" sources, is no higher than the false reporting rate of most other crimes. Which is around 2%.
As if he, out of all people in our side of the world would need to rape a girl to get sex. Oh, Anthony. You're a bit of a cliche. Rape isn't always about sex... sometimes it's about power, and sometimes it's about plain old entitlement. And that's something Australian sports stars are encouraged to have in spades.
Come on now, look at it from a perspective of reality rather than some persons way to exploit money out of a young man making plenty of money.Money, you say? I was under the impression that the charges pending are criminal, not civil. I presumed from your championing of legal principles above that you'd be aware of such a distinction?
Wake up to yourself and indeed learn the reality of being held to ransom.... I'm not sure you're even aware of what you just said.
This may or may not be the case here but indeed when the truth is told, all Australia's opinion will be heard and considered.Including mine!
As for you (the original poster), a bad experience is a terrible thing to deal with but hey, you should be a tad smarter than that and be a little more diplomatic with your views.... I should be smarter than to be sexually assaulted by an older man at the age of eleven? Wow. That's a pretty impressive standard of "asshole" you've set there.
Thanks for your reply and sorry if you got a couple of my points either confused or if I did not express them properly.
I am no where near as eloquent as you and may not be able to say what I really mean in context however here goes.
My apologies if you feel that I did not express a sadness towards you for what you have been through. Indeed it happens and this behavior I do not condone.
Frankly, those perpetrators who commit such crimes, a life time in prison is no where near enough punishment to justify such actions however my say is also irrelevant with respect to this.
My point is simple. There are many cases of rape, be it forced sex or physical harm or anything that justifies the word that take place world wide and many get away with their actions leaving the victim (if thats how its best to refer to them) to be punished for life. Mentally it would be an absolute nightmare, and indeed I sympathise with all going through that.
However we must not turn a blind eye on people that intentionally do things in order to get attention and of course benefit from this financially.
Firstly, the initial charge was lesser than rape as the victim did not at the time explain her case in detail.
She had all the witnesses in the world.
When the media got hold of it, and placed the pressure on to the police, we all asked for proof and all that could be proven was that he walked off with her.
Now, the case moves forward and the charges are upgraded to Rape where Stewart had forcefully inserted his penis into her vagina outside of their apartment block. No DNA was found at all which is considered to be 1 in a million chance of happening if his penis in actual fact did enter her vagina.
If he is guilty, chop them off I say but wait.
Bail was granted immediately, be it his stature or doubt we will never know.
The problem we now face is the lack of evidence as all the witnesses have run from this fabrication of a story knowing too well that perjury is a serious crime.
Couple this with the fact that all the witnesses are actually her friends.
Now if there was a case of abuse, sexually, physically or whatever, did the victim not have a voice to scream (this is sydney, you will be heard) or why didn't any of her friends come to her defense.
Now the key withness is the victim and if the key witness does not present herself to court, there is no case. The crown cannot proceed with charges relating to this as they rely on the victim to be cross examined. If she is not there, the case is immediately dismissed.
So the question is raised right here.
Many of cases have gone belly up as a large sum of money is offered in order to keep quiet.
It is fraud and perversion of the cause of justice however this is life. Confidentiality comes into play.
But, Brett Stewart's defense has proven to throw a massive spanner in the works as he nor his lawyers will give up any detail in terms of their defense meaning the victim is caught in between a rock and a hard place.
This does not prove his innocents dont get me wrong but it is not looking good towards the victim.
Now her fathers actions towards all this have been confronting to say the least. He called the reporters to the scene to explain what happened however what he didn't disclose was the sexual penetration. That came later.
The father is a proven fraudster as well. Not looking so good for him
However truth will hopefully prevail but not necessarily finding him guilty.
May whoever above bring the victim here be it the girl or Brett peace and the criminal a long life of Karma and punishment as a result of this.
In any case, as I said, give everybody the benefit of the doubt and indeed dont hang everybody to the cross before his time.
This is an evil world we live in and for those (like you) who have been hurt, may you all find peace.
Thank you for allowing me post to your blog.
Stay strong and always walk towards the light..
Anthony
Anthony: You're a fuck-wit and clearly don't have the IQ qutoa necessary to be posting on the internet. Fucking moron and rape apologist. Apologising for a rapist is not something to be proud of Anthony. It just makes you look like a douche. Which is probably exactly what you are. Take your imbecilic notions and stick them where the sun don't shine.
Put down the keyboard, switch it off and step out into the real world. And don't give me any whineging about 'respecting all opinions'. Arseholes like you deserve nothing but contempt because you're too stupid to earn anything but the greatest of derision and disgust. You enable rapists like Johns and Steward to get away with what they do by making excuses for them. You're a fool and a rape apologist and hopefully Darwinism rids the world of you in short order. Fuck off and die.
Oh yeah, and dressing up your idiocy in bullshit
The scope of your ignorance and blindness is almost breath-taking; I'm honestly not sure how people as dumb as you are able to muster the brain function necessary to stay alive. Your words are the words of one who has no perspective, no empathy, no compassion, no insight and no experience so dressing up your idiocy in tokenistic "karma and peace out" sentiments are just even more persuasive you're a fraud and an imbecile. No one really in touch with that spirituality would ask such a devastatingly moronic question as "why didn't she scream?".
Um... ever heard of FEAR, BOZO?
Get your hand off your dick and try seeing things from other people's perspectives. You just might learn something. But that's unlikely... learning requires capacity, after all, and we don't want to distract the brain signals occupied in telling your heart to keep on beating.
(or do we?)
"Fucking moron and rape apologist" At what point did I apologise for and on behalf of a rapist FOOL.
" You enable rapists like Johns", LOL. You are obviously too ignorant to understand, even when conveyed to you in simple terms the word consensual. Did the lady that Johns slept with ever say that she was raped by Johns. No, she openly admitted to going back to his room with him and a friend for a threesome.
"hopefully Darwinism rids the world of you in short order" You really do need to address your anger. This is the web and is free for all with an opinion. To wish somebody dead is indeed an extreme measure. Possibly it is just the sorrow that your live with daily and that you cant see beyond which is speaking as no human being other than a dictator would wish this upon any human.
"The scope of your ignorance and blindness is almost breath-taking" AH. Did I say he was guilty or innocent. Rather none of them. Read it again person.
"o one really in touch with that spirituality would ask such a devastatingly moronic question as "why didn't she scream?". I don't claim to be in touch with my spiritual side. So if fear took over, why didn't the alleged friends, that the so called victim here claims were eye witnesses scream. Oh thats right, they were riddled with fear as well.
"(or do we?)" The one thing I can be so very proud of is that I would never wish a human with an opinion dead. You have stressed this twice is your reply. Maybe you should get in touch with your spiritual side and reevaluate humanity.
it is clear that you are a person who lives their life, not exactly through the eyes of its real soul. Follow the light, you will find happiness but in the meantime, be careful what you wish for as one day you will be remorseful for your shallow words.
Thats Hex once again for allowing me to post here. I truly did not mean to start an argument. I appreciated your response as it was eloquent and educated. The other poster, wishing people dead just ruin your page for you.
Thanks again.
Anthony, don't make assumptions about "the kind of person" you're talking about. I don't know you from any other nameless and faceless poster on the tubes. I do know her. If insults are getting thrown around... well, I make no claims to be any less biased towards the familiar than any other human.
I left your last post while I had a bit of a think about whether or not I was going to address it, because what you're saying is really 101 stuff... and pretty painful for women who've experienced sexual assault to deal with.
To address your first comment:
First up, I don't expect you or anyone else to express sadness on behalf of any of my experiences.
My point is simple.
Your point is exactly the same as that of every other rape-apologist who shows up on a feminist blog and tries to get us to see that there are just so darn many fake rape accusations, and that (insert accused rapist) is clearly innocent. And "rape apology" does not mean "offering a literal apology for a rapist". It is any argument that places ANY of the burden of responsibility for a rape or sexual assault ANYWHERE but squarely on the shoulders of the rapist. Victim blaming is a form of rape apology.
Mentally it would be an absolute nightmare, and indeed I sympathise with all going through that.You sympathise... but your words, and your actions in seeking out posts like mine to post them on, contribute to rape culture, and to the things that make it even harder to be a survivor of sexual assault.
However we must not turn a blind eye on people that intentionally do things in order to get attention and of course benefit from this financially.This simply does not happen as often as you seem to think. False rape allegations are no more common than false allegations of any other crime, but you wouldn't think it to see the response to a high profile rape allegation. Honestly, it's this claim offered by so many men that convinces me more than anything that they have no idea what it's like to experience rape or sexual assault as a woman. That attention? It ain't pleasant. You're victimised all over again and called a lying slut by people you've never even heard of. I mentioned that in the original post, which you say you read.
As for financial gain... heh. Even less likely. Did you read the numbers post I linked to?
The problem we now face is the lack of evidence as all the witnesses have run from this fabrication of a story knowing too well that perjury is a serious crime.Your interpretation is flawed. There are many, many reasons why fewer witnesses to a crime (ANY crime, this is not something limited to rape) are willing to appear in court than are willing to give police statements at the scene. It certainly does not suggest that they were all lying.
I'm grimly amused that you'd think so many people would have stepped up to lie to the cops in the first place against a well known and well loved football player... but then, I've lived in the area the crime took place.
Now if there was a case of abuse, sexually, physically or whatever, did the victim not have a voice to scream (this is sydney, you will be heard) or why didn't any of her friends come to her defense.
Wow. That's so extremely old testament. No, seriously. You're paraphrasing Deuteronomy 23-24, which states that women who are raped and don't scream loud enough for someone to hear them should be put to death.
Me? Not a fan of archaic Hebrew rape apology any more than the newer kind. Think about what you're saying! It's a ridiculous and cruel burden to put on someone who is being violated that THEY are to blame if they don't raise a ruckus. On top of the usual pressure of fear and a life time of female conditioning, you've got the knowledge that your assailant is a much loved local celebrity.
Many of cases have gone belly up as a large sum of money is offered in order to keep quiet.
It is fraud and perversion of the cause of justice however this is life. Confidentiality comes into play.
You are aware that in such cases, legal council generally tell you to take the damn money because rape cases so rarely succeed, right? But you expect the victim to put herself through that for YOUR idea of justice? You say "it's not looking good for the victim"... it was NEVER looking good for the victim. If rape victims only ever came forward when the case was looking strong and stable, we'd never fucking hear about sexual assault, save for a few rare cases where the assailant was a targetable ethnic minority and the victim a white woman.
This is an evil world we live in and for those (like you) who have been hurt, may you all find peace.
I don't think this world is evil. I think it just is. But people commit evil acts... and unfortunately, we live in a prejudiced society that allows some to get away with more than others.
And I'm doing fine, thank you.
Your second comment:
Did the lady that Johns slept with ever say that she was raped by Johns. No, she openly admitted to going back to his room with him and a friend for a threesome.
... and that everything after that was non-consensual. Agreeing to a threesome does not negate the group sexual assault that happened later.
So if fear took over, why didn't the alleged friends, that the so called victim here claims were eye witnesses scream. Oh thats right, they were riddled with fear as well.
I presume from this comment that you're lucky enough to have not been present when people witness gender-based assault. I have. The response is generally to freeze, to feel uncomfortable, to rationalise.
The other poster, wishing people dead just ruin your page for you.
She's my guest here, and her presence is something I consider desirable.
(serial commenting ahoy!)
And before you reply, if you plan to... I'd ask that you do some reading here: http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com
Thanks for your reply Hexy.
Indeed it was pleasant to read and I will go to bed with a smile on my face.
I am sure I dont understand as much as you do the circumstances behind what these perpetrators do and more than likely never will.
I am an extremely decent person who is a loving dad to a 9 year old girl and believe me, treat women with loads of respect.
As a matter of fact, I have more female friends than male but who cares anyhow.
Yes of course rape is probably one of the hardest crimes to prove and convict in a court of law, i understand this completely.
In my eyes, I would really like Stewart to be innocent, if not glad for him to be locked up for life.
However, I always (and I cannot change myself) give the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I am wrong, I am man enough to admit just this.
I stumbled across your blog accidently when doing a search on Manly the club and I was intrigued by your eloquence so I read on.
I did not read your profile (I actually did not know it even existed until very late last night). Your initial reply to me was harsh but fair and indeed a great read of which stimulated my mind.
I am just another person in this large world however your friend or regular reader took it to a level which indeed was not called for.
In any case, I forgive her as I am sure this was not a reply from the bottom of her heart rather a spare of the moment thing.
Anyhow, I wont reply any longer. I am sooo sooo sorry if I caused anybody at all any ill feeling. it was not my intention.
For you Hexy, good luck with everything you set out to achieve and may all your wishes be delivered without delay.
I too lived a long part of my life with Bi Polar, acute anxiety but today smile and look forward to tomorrow. I hope you feel the same way too.
Than you once again and I will pop by from time to time.
Anthony.
However, I always (and I cannot change myself) give the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I am wrong, I am man enough to admit just this.But you AREN'T giving the benefit of the doubt. You're giving the benefit of the doubt to the man and alleged perpetrator, whilst accusing the woman and alleged victim of committing a crime, or at least of lying, scheming, and targeting the aforementioned male. Do you see that?
Good luck with your moods, and with your daughter. Parenting with bipolar can be tough, and I have admiration for anyone who manages it successfully.
Post a Comment